I want to talk about something that doesn’t always show up in your calendar, but impacts every goal you’re chasing – alignment.
Lately, I’ve been wrestling with this idea of alignment versus escape. And not in some big dramatic way. I’m talking about the subtle stuff. The sneaky habits that look productive on the surface but quietly pull you away from the man you’re trying to become.
For me? It was chess.
Sounds harmless, right? I thought so too. But I started noticing a shift. I wasn’t sleeping well. I missed my 4:50am wake-ups. I stopped showing up with full presence in the morning. I was still “doing things”, training, time-blocking, appointments but I wasn’t in it. I wasn’t aligned.
Instead of leaning back into discipline, I escaped. I found myself playing chess… a lot. Not for growth. Not for strategy. But for the little dopamine hits. The temporary sense of control. It was a distraction that looked like mental stimulation, but it was really avoidance.
What was I avoiding?
The weight of new fatherhood. The pressure to perform. The overwhelm I didn’t take time to process.
Here’s the truth:
We don’t escape because we’re lazy. We escape because we’re misaligned.
It could be food, your phone, overworking, or in my case chess. But the real danger isn’t the escape itself. It’s that these habits pull you quietly off course. And no one calls you out. In fact, people might even praise you for staying productive.
But you know. Deep down, you know.
That’s why I invest in accountability. I’ve spent close to $15,000 this year on coaching and mentorship. Not because I need someone to motivate me but because I need someone to call me back to who I said I wanted to be. As a father. A husband. A leader.
And if I’m not aligned, I’m not fully present. Not with Jen. Not with Jordan. Not in business.
So here’s the question I’ve been asking myself:
Is this choice bringing me closer to the man I want to be, or pulling me further away?
When I catch myself slipping, I go back to what I now call my “realignment ritual.”
Nothing fancy.
Just: Two minutes of stillness, Breathwork, A quick journal prompt: “What am I avoiding right now?” or “What really matters today?”, A physical shift 10 push-ups, stretching, standing up
It interrupts the drift. Because most of the time, alignment doesn’t break all at once it slips through small, unintentional decisions.
So this is your reminder:
You don’t need permission to reset.
You don’t need to feel guilty for drifting.
You just need to notice and return. Quickly. Quietly. Daily.
And if this hit home for you, I want to challenge you:
Take 15 minutes today.
Sit in silence.
Audit your escapes.
Ask what you’re really avoiding.
And decide who you want to be this week, not just what you want to do.
Let’s stop escaping. Let’s start showing up with intention.
Listen to my full reflection on the latest podcast episode
(here)
